Marie faithfully attends exercise classes at the Como by the Lake apartment building twice a week and always comes with a smile on her face.  She encourages others to try new exercises and here she is showing off her flexibility!  Classes are held Monday and Thursday at 11am and open to the community.

Making a home visit to our neighborhood seniors is always fun.  We love learning about the seniors; where they worked, what they enjoy doing, about their families and how we can help them remain living in their own homes as long as possible.  This week, we had an unexpected surprise while doing a home visit!  We discovered talent!  Gwyn and his neighbor Russ entertained us with some great music.  These two have been friends and neighbors for years and have always enjoyed making music together.  But it goes beyond making music....Russ helps Gwyn in all sorts of ways from taking him to medical appointments to taking his glasses to being repaired to encouraging him to eat healthy so they can continue being a musical team.  Thanks Gwyn and Russ for a super fun home visit!

Do you have a neighbor that you are concerned about?  You’d like to help them but aren’t sure who to get started?  Here are some tips on how to provide informal assistance to your senior neighbors.

• Build friendships across generations on your block.
• Start as a friend, the same way you would with anyone.
• Listen to learn if any assistance may be appreciated.  Go slowly and be gentle on first offers to help.  Most of us appreciate help, but we do not like to be viewed as someone who needs help.  Offer insight into why you want to help, like “we enjoy your company.”  If you are turned down, don’t insist, just leave it open for the future and try again.  Common things neighbors help with include rides for grocery shopping, taking out the garbage or recycling, changing light bulbs, snow removal, visiting over a cup of coffee.
• Respond to offers of reciprocity.  It is easy to say, “You don’t need to do anything for me.”  However, most people want to reciprocate and it is important that they do.  Find things with which they can help.  Accept baked goods, watering your plants while you are gone or whatever can be comfortably accepted.  Many people draw the line on accepting money—it is up to you.
• Watch for transitions when extra support may be needed such as giving up their driver’s license, diagnosis of illness, return from the hospital or death of a spouse.
• Be prepared if you see changes in the person’s condition or signs of concern.  Call the North End-South Como Block Nurse Program at 651-487-5135 to talk over the situation.  Sometimes it helps to just talk to someone working with services for seniors.

Some signs of concern are:

• Reports of falls
• Indication of forgetfulness
• Unclear on medication
• Not eating/losing weight
• House deteriorating or unsafe
• Seeing other people less

Sometimes just bringing in one service, such as home delivered meals, a home health aide or a volunteer visitor can stabilize the situation and start building a safety net if a crisis develops.

Do not be surprised if you are told they do not want any services.  Often people are so comfortable with help from neighbors and family they do not see the need or they are afraid that asking for services will risk their independence.

Feel good about what you are doing and enjoy it.  What you doing is incredibly important!

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.  This includes age.
   
2. Keep only cheerful friends.  Grouches pull you down
   
3.  Keep learning.  Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
   
4. Enjoy the simple things.  When the children are young, that is all you can afford.  When they are grown and you are retired, that is all you can afford.
   
5. Laugh often, long and loud.  Laugh until you gasp for breath.  Laugh so much that you can be identified by your distinctive laughter.
   
6. The tears happen.  Endure, grieve, and move on.  The only person with us our entire life is ourselves.
   
7. Surround yourself with what you love whether it is family, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
   
8. Cherish your health.  If it is good, preserve it.  If it is unstable, improve it.  If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
   
9. Don’t take guilt trips.  Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but not guilt.
   
10. At every opportunity tell the people you love that you love them.
    

REMEMBER, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the number of moments that take our breath away. ---Author unknown.

Stay active in your community.  Help your elderly neighbors by giving them a ride to church or the store, stop to chat with them.  It will put a spring in their step and yours.

Reprinted from a United Way Tip Sheet.
Communication can be challenging even in the best of circumstances.  As the people we care about grow older, it can become even harder to talk about difficult issues.  When you’re worried about the health and safety of an older relative or friend, it can be easy to forget that everyone—no matter what age—needs to feel in control of his/her own life. Here are some suggestions that may help you when you’re talking with seniors.

• Listen to your relative/friend at least as much as you talk.  It can be easy to fall into the trap of talking too much, especially while discussing a difficult topic and feeling a little nervous.  Remember that conversation is a two-way street.
• Be positive.  Try constructive suggestions instead of negative statements.  “Let’s try having a housekeeper do the heavier work so you can keep things the way you like them,” may work better than, “You know you can’t keep this place clean anymore.”
• Try to set aside a quiet place to talk.  Try to choose a time when your relative/’friend is feeling at his/her best.
• Remember that you friend/relative still needs to make decisions about his/her won life.  Maintaining a person’s sense of independence and dignity may be as important as getting groceries delivered.
• Be patient.  Allow enough time for your friend/relative to complete her thoughts without interruption.  Some older people need extra time to express themselves.
• Remember that part of feeling secure is feeling needed.  Sometime it can still help to talk about your own feelings and let your relative/friend offer you some comfort.
• Never argue no matter how much you want to!  Realize that each of you may have differences in your approach to a problem or in your feelings about it.  Try to talk about those differences without criticizing each other.
• If you’re really having problems discussing something, slow down and let go of it. Leave it for another day.  Try to think beyond the words and the behavior to what your friend/relative is really feeling.